Playing"house" is decieving...

Today, I want to be a kid again.

These days happen from time to time. I wake up really missing my mom, my little bro, the smell of home, the security of childhood, and being tucked in at night. It feels like all of a sudden, I've woken up from this big long dream about what my future will be like as an adult...when I "one day" get there. I was one of those kids who couldn't wait to grow up. I couldn't wait to have my own house, to decorate it, to drive a car, to live with my boyfriend, get married, have a career, go out at night, and at one point, to just wear platform shoes (I had a platform shoe thing when I was 10 and my mom wouldn't let me wear them because, well, I was 10) I played "house" all the time. It was my favorite game. The adults around me often said they missed being a kid, and how freeing it was to not have the responsibilities that an adult has. I didn't understand. But "you can drive! you can make money! you can go to dinner parties all dressed up! you can buy a house!" all these things seemed so glamorous to me. OVERRATED.I'm not complaining. I'm just missing.

Phil and I were discussing the beauty of being a child last night. As we all know, the imagination of a child is incredibly unique and powerful. If you don't remember what I'm talking about, take 10 minutes and go watch children play. When they use their mind to imagine that they are different people, living in a different time, the believe it so faithfully. So faithfully that if you try to tell them different, they look at you like you're the crazy one. They have such conviction in what they believe. They have the most optimism of any adult in the world. Anything is possible. This is something we as humans are born with, until something or someone tries to take it away from us. If that something or someone succeeds in taking that optimism from us, then we begin to live in a fearful, limited world. In the book I'm reading Three Magic Words it discusses the power of belief. Look at placebos for example. Deceiving someone into thinking the medication their ingesting will cure the chronic pain in their neck, or help them loose weight just goes to prove that all it takes is belief in something to help manifest it in your life. This says a lot about how to create the life you want. If you have lost that optimism you had as a child, or the imagination to dream up anything, it's not too late! It's still there, hidden away until you decide to call it out again. The burden that society has put on us as adults, that causes us to loose that child-likeness, should be abolished. I want my mom!... and that will never change.

Can you tell I'm really looking forward to my trip home this weekend?

New hair?

IF I was to cut it short...

Well, my hair is boring me to tears lately. I haven't colored it in over a year, which I am very proud of since I was notorious for changing my hair (usually to match that of Christina Aguilera?!) so it is almost 100% natural in color. Who knew I'd ever be a virgin again? However, although it should be as healthy as ever, it isn't and this could be due to my vegetarian diet. I have fine hair to begin with but since becoming a vegetarian nearly two years ago - I've definitely seen a decline in the quality of my hair. It could just be hereditary as well, the cause is a hard one to point a finger at seeing as other vegetarians don't experience a change in hair texture and I feel I have done everything I can to replace missed vitamins and proteins (hair, nail & skin vitamins, lots of tofu, and protein supplements...) I don't like the "thin scraggly" look and I can't afford the quality of extensions I would settle for - not to mention Phil would disapprove of extensions to begin with. I am going back home in a couple weeks and will cut my hair - but how is the question. These are my ideas...

[This has some layers to it]

[My fav thus far...]

[Different angle...]

[A little longer, and no bangs]

OR, I just get a trim and keep it how it is. I haven't cut my hair this short since I was 10. It would be a big change indeed, but I want to make sure it is a good one and not a bad one... Please vote on my poll on the right-hand side bar and please send me your honest input =)

Hope everyone is enjoying the last month of summer!!!

<3

Our LA pad...

It is time to say good-bye to our first LA home.

Well, Phil and I have decided that we would indeed like to be in a new place by September 1st. We are fed up with the idling busses behind our building, constant car alarms going off, noisy neighbors in the hall at 3am, neighbors that allow their dogs to urinate on the lobby floor, and of course, the "late night choppers" hovering the skies for God knows what reason. We did luck out though, I must say. We are on the edge of one of the most beautiful neighborhoods in Los Angeles, (Hancock Park) and seeing that we don't have a car, we are walking distance to everything we need, grocery stores, public transportation, coffee shops, restaurants, cute stores etc. Not to mention we have a spectacular view of the Hollywood Hills (and the sign!) - what a wonderful reminder it has been of where we've gotten ourselves!

We've also hosted a whack of people in the past 18 months we've lived here. Lets count shall we? My friend Jessica from T.O., Christoph & Ashley, Mr. Nick Mishko, my father, my mother, Jake & his once-friend Luc, Annie, my mother-in-law Ms. McKnight, and soon to add to the list is famed photographer, Mr. Andrew Norton. We live in a studio folks. It will be nice to have a separate sleeping area for our guests rather then our sleeper couch next to our bed. But hey, we've had a blast. I'll keep you updated on our new home search, but for now, let's take a moment to reflect on our cute little LA spot...

*All paintings are done by Mr. and Mrs. McKnight! Contact me if interested. I focus on calligraphy of quotes and Phil does amazing portraits.

I've been slacking on the posting...but it's my blog so I don't really have to answer to anyone...

I'm honest to a fault.


I have been lazy lately. I've been working ALOT, but being really lazy at the same time. Philip is back home and if I'm not working, I'm spending quality time with him, something that is very important in any healthy relationship. I must say, I have grown immensely in the last 6 months of my life - and it finally feels good! Growing in your life can be painful sometimes, but reaching a new plateau makes the pain so worth it. No pain, no gain, as they say. Who says? I duno.

Phil & I recently saw Public Enemies, starring Johnny Depp and we both lurved it. I've always liked Johnny Depp, but I think this movie has made me fall in love with him. Hm, strange. I thought Charlie and the Chocolate Factory woulda done the trick, as borderline pedo as he looked in that flick. He is truly one of the most versatille actors of his time. He can be anyone, or anything, and not only do you believe it, but you want to live it. Maybe that's just me being greatly influenced by almost any movie I see. Is there a name for that? A disorder of some sort? I wish I could watch my life like a movie. I highly recommend you see Public Enemies - an embellished little piece of American gangster history with Mr. Depp as John Dilinger. In other news, I have booked my flight back home (and by home I mean where my mom lives) for the end of August and I am incredibly excited to spend time with my family and friends. Come September, I'm hoping Phil & I will have found a new home, or a car, and then I plan to crank back up in my career. What career you ask? The one I'm going to have. I am in a very good place right now in my life and am looking straight ahead at a destiny that is in my control...and it all starts with a thought. If you would like to know more of what I'm talking about, I ENCOURAGE you to check out a SUPERB book I'm reading right now called, Three Magic Words by U.S. Anderson. Atfer I'm finished reading it, I will most likey post a review, but to get you excited - it is guarenteed (by me) to improve your life, and open your eyes to a power we all have but scarcley know how to use. YAY.

Until next time...toodles.

Oh justine...

My eyes hurt from being on the computer too much. I have to force myself not to go on the computer. Is that a bad thing? My eyes start to hurt from staring at the screen too much and this is why I have not taken the time to blog. I've been living by myself for a week and a half and am anxious for Phil to return on Monday. Nothing too exciting has happened - the weather has been flawless! Sunny and hot every day, great for the beach. Phil and I are planning to have our late honeymoon/one year wedding anniversary celebration in a foreign destination at the end of September! Maybe the Mayan Riviera?! Maybe Tulum, Mexico?! If you have suggestions for all inclusive resorts, I would love them! With this in mind, I've been browsing the internet (of course) for cute dresses for our getaway, that's when I came across these fun sites - ladies, be prepared to fall in love. Fabulous finds for fabulous prices ~

TopShop
Charolette Russe
Adore Vintage
Dear Golden

I am also in love with shoe designer Sam Edelman (not the man himself, just his shoes) I am even considering buying another pair of the exact same sandals I own because I love them so much and want a second pair for when mine wear out. You can find great deals on Ebay & Amazon when it comes to getting Sam's sandals at a discount. Since I don't have any exciting news or radical opinions right now, I'm blogging about fashion. Can you believe we're already half way through July? Eeeeek. I shouldn't say it. But I will. Christmas is 6 months away...

Everyone just needs to slow down and eat some pudding...

Chocolate pudding to be specific.

My dad and I were having a conversation about the nature of war, the drama between places like North Korea, Iran and the US, all the while I was enjoying spoonful after spoonful of Belgian chocolate pudding purchased from Trader Joe's (the best grocery store in LA). We have come to a conclusion. All problems can be solved with pudding. Pudding makes me smile. It would probably make you smile too for those who have never tried pudding. If truck load after truck load delivered pudding to major problem areas around the world, I think people would just shut up and eat their pudding. North Korea wants to start a nuclear war with the US? Someone should go up to North Korean President Kim II-Sung and hand him a thing of pudding. Relax and eat your pudding - enjoy the coolness and sweetness of it. Enjoy how smooth and creamy it is. Who knows maybe he'll have this massive awakening all because he at some great pudding and he'll realize we're all in this together. He'll realize that he really needs to climb out of his ego and start acting like a human being. Maybe he'll begin to understand that with the vastness of the internet, social networks, instant communication, etc. that we are now one community. The whole world. Who knew? That something as simple as pudding could potentially be the solution to any problem to ever exist. 

In other news - does anyone know how to make my blog more beautiful? I want to have tabs and different pages like other bloggers. I'm not as internet savy as I'd like to be so if anyone has any tips or answers to that question, please email me at jusmcknight@gmail.com.

Off to a fun girls night at my apartment tonight...gotta go make my bed.

I heart the internet!!!

Could I be addicted to the internet?

I know that tons and tons of people are addicted to the internet, but I really didn't want to be one of them. It can be such a time sucker! But I. love. it. I've been looking to purchase my own digital camera because the one Phil and I bought a couple years ago has had cranberry juice spilt on it (my doing) and the battery only lasts 10 minutes. I know the proper solution to this would be to have it professionally cleaned and to buy a new battery but since I can't figure out how to work it anyway I think I'll get a fool proof one. Probably a hot pink fool proof one. Here are some pics from my 22nd birthday that are from a disposable camera - the quality just blows me away. So clear and full of color...uhm...

Here are some of the people I love here in La-La Land.

[Sarah, Me, Katie and Kelly in the background]

[Me & Mallory]

[Kelly, Me & Heather]

[Me, being 22]

[Mary, Jason & Sarah]

[this is the only decent one of Phil & I]

I am cleaning our apartment from head to toe. Gutting it. Organizing it. Beautifying it. Then I will take pictures of it to remember what it looks like when it's just the way I like it. My friend Mallory and I are going to try to catch a Demetri Martin (comedian) show tomorrow night at the Upright Citizens Brigade theatre and then most likely end up at Birds - an adorable, quirky little bar in Los Feliz. For those of you who don't know - tomorrow is Michael Jackson's memorial at The Staples Center downtown LA. They could be expecting up to 700,000 fans flooding the streets of downtown to pay their respects. 

RIP Mr. Michael Jackson - your talent and genius was truly a gift to this world.