the truth is, i'm insecure . . . just like you. but i'd like to think, i'm insecure only some of the time. can you be insecure only "some" of the time? i've got everything i need not to be insecure yet still i find myself self-doubting, imposing limits, trying to control time and not working nearly as hard as i could be. don't get me wrong. i am incredibly grateful for all that i have. if you think about it, worrying about insecurity is almost a blessing. i do have to remind myself that there are people in this world that worry about far greater things. i suppose it's kind of like how a turtle only grows as big as his environment will let him. our worries will only grow as big as our environment will let them.
i have to think that, with all the ways of doing things on this Earth, i should stop trying to live the "right" way. most of the time what we consider to be right or wrong are established based on comparing ourselves to what other's believe to be right or wrong. there are obvious things that are wrong. things that only take common sense. i think that if your intentions are well, that's all that really matters. each person has to create their own world of what is right and wrong for them. and what is right for me, may very well not be right for you. but judgement should never come into play if people have opposing viewpoints. judgement is a joke and a sad waste of time. there are many things wrong with this world and i'm skeptical that will ever change . . . but i do have hope and belief in the power of all of us. in the power of the individual. i do think that we, with the help of God, create our own destinies. we are the masters. books upon books will tell you this, but until you thoroughly understand what it is to be God, then i don't know if you can ever be free. and once you understand it, then you have to put it into action . . . because what's the point of inhibiting God and not doing much with it.
i want to do great things. i will do great things. you will too. if you want. i feel like i've been preparing for a marathon but never actually getting to run the thing. never feeling accomplishment so big i could burst at the seams. i start off with solid intentions, full of confidence and excitement . . . well, this time, i really want to see some results. from this moment on . . . here's what i want to do :
- start my own freelance makeup business
- LAND an agent
- do lots of yoga ( if you're in the GTA, best yoga studio alive; Kula )
- meditate
- do lots of cardio
- continue singing lessons
- continue to develop my peace & happiness ( aggressively! )
- take a french class
- book a 15 day trip to Europe for next spring with Ish. (targets : Ireland, France, Italy )
- buy a house
- inspire you
- do more Second City
- have the best blog ever
- book acting roles
all of this is possible. i want it all to happen by this time next year. are you with me? a dear friend and fellow blogger ( A Simple Girl ) posted possibly the best description of "happiness" that i've ever heard in my life from the book i'm currently reading (and is now out in theatres) Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. please FOR THE LOVE OF GOD read it here. we all think a lot alike. we're all searching for the same thing. never forget ( as i'm trying to do ) that what we're searching for is with us at all times . . . then you will be free.
here are some inspiring tunes from the soul of Joss Stone . . .
ps. have you ever typed 'God' into Google Images? it seems that many think he resembles Ariel's father from The Little Mermaid.
love this! thats a great list :)
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