Playing"house" is decieving...

Today, I want to be a kid again.

These days happen from time to time. I wake up really missing my mom, my little bro, the smell of home, the security of childhood, and being tucked in at night. It feels like all of a sudden, I've woken up from this big long dream about what my future will be like as an adult...when I "one day" get there. I was one of those kids who couldn't wait to grow up. I couldn't wait to have my own house, to decorate it, to drive a car, to live with my boyfriend, get married, have a career, go out at night, and at one point, to just wear platform shoes (I had a platform shoe thing when I was 10 and my mom wouldn't let me wear them because, well, I was 10) I played "house" all the time. It was my favorite game. The adults around me often said they missed being a kid, and how freeing it was to not have the responsibilities that an adult has. I didn't understand. But "you can drive! you can make money! you can go to dinner parties all dressed up! you can buy a house!" all these things seemed so glamorous to me. OVERRATED.I'm not complaining. I'm just missing.

Phil and I were discussing the beauty of being a child last night. As we all know, the imagination of a child is incredibly unique and powerful. If you don't remember what I'm talking about, take 10 minutes and go watch children play. When they use their mind to imagine that they are different people, living in a different time, the believe it so faithfully. So faithfully that if you try to tell them different, they look at you like you're the crazy one. They have such conviction in what they believe. They have the most optimism of any adult in the world. Anything is possible. This is something we as humans are born with, until something or someone tries to take it away from us. If that something or someone succeeds in taking that optimism from us, then we begin to live in a fearful, limited world. In the book I'm reading Three Magic Words it discusses the power of belief. Look at placebos for example. Deceiving someone into thinking the medication their ingesting will cure the chronic pain in their neck, or help them loose weight just goes to prove that all it takes is belief in something to help manifest it in your life. This says a lot about how to create the life you want. If you have lost that optimism you had as a child, or the imagination to dream up anything, it's not too late! It's still there, hidden away until you decide to call it out again. The burden that society has put on us as adults, that causes us to loose that child-likeness, should be abolished. I want my mom!... and that will never change.

Can you tell I'm really looking forward to my trip home this weekend?

New hair?

IF I was to cut it short...

Well, my hair is boring me to tears lately. I haven't colored it in over a year, which I am very proud of since I was notorious for changing my hair (usually to match that of Christina Aguilera?!) so it is almost 100% natural in color. Who knew I'd ever be a virgin again? However, although it should be as healthy as ever, it isn't and this could be due to my vegetarian diet. I have fine hair to begin with but since becoming a vegetarian nearly two years ago - I've definitely seen a decline in the quality of my hair. It could just be hereditary as well, the cause is a hard one to point a finger at seeing as other vegetarians don't experience a change in hair texture and I feel I have done everything I can to replace missed vitamins and proteins (hair, nail & skin vitamins, lots of tofu, and protein supplements...) I don't like the "thin scraggly" look and I can't afford the quality of extensions I would settle for - not to mention Phil would disapprove of extensions to begin with. I am going back home in a couple weeks and will cut my hair - but how is the question. These are my ideas...

[This has some layers to it]

[My fav thus far...]

[Different angle...]

[A little longer, and no bangs]

OR, I just get a trim and keep it how it is. I haven't cut my hair this short since I was 10. It would be a big change indeed, but I want to make sure it is a good one and not a bad one... Please vote on my poll on the right-hand side bar and please send me your honest input =)

Hope everyone is enjoying the last month of summer!!!

<3

Our LA pad...

It is time to say good-bye to our first LA home.

Well, Phil and I have decided that we would indeed like to be in a new place by September 1st. We are fed up with the idling busses behind our building, constant car alarms going off, noisy neighbors in the hall at 3am, neighbors that allow their dogs to urinate on the lobby floor, and of course, the "late night choppers" hovering the skies for God knows what reason. We did luck out though, I must say. We are on the edge of one of the most beautiful neighborhoods in Los Angeles, (Hancock Park) and seeing that we don't have a car, we are walking distance to everything we need, grocery stores, public transportation, coffee shops, restaurants, cute stores etc. Not to mention we have a spectacular view of the Hollywood Hills (and the sign!) - what a wonderful reminder it has been of where we've gotten ourselves!

We've also hosted a whack of people in the past 18 months we've lived here. Lets count shall we? My friend Jessica from T.O., Christoph & Ashley, Mr. Nick Mishko, my father, my mother, Jake & his once-friend Luc, Annie, my mother-in-law Ms. McKnight, and soon to add to the list is famed photographer, Mr. Andrew Norton. We live in a studio folks. It will be nice to have a separate sleeping area for our guests rather then our sleeper couch next to our bed. But hey, we've had a blast. I'll keep you updated on our new home search, but for now, let's take a moment to reflect on our cute little LA spot...

*All paintings are done by Mr. and Mrs. McKnight! Contact me if interested. I focus on calligraphy of quotes and Phil does amazing portraits.